Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Back in Black

Since my last post, which was me feeling sorry for my self, I've done better at the tables. Not particular good but better. I got my money back I lost the day or two before for profit of a grand total of about $300. So that turns out to be a swing of about 1200. I played a bunch of sit and go's at empire with buy in's ranging from 50 to 200 and netted a profit of about 600. It was nice to finally do well in these because I haven't been lately. Played some 6 max 10-20 tables there also and pretty much broke even. I also made obout 5-6 hundred at the site I prop at. Playing two tables at this site at 5-10 so thats not bad at all.

So anyway things are starting to go better and I'm trying to be more positive. It's funny how when things go well at the tables it seems to be reflected in my life, and vice versa. So I've decided to try something that many poker players have wriiten about. I'm going to try and make my personal life better and hopefully it should improve my performance at the tables. Lord knows there are alot of things I need to take care of. I really don't want to get into details right now so I won't.

But I will say that in my last post I alluded to things going badly because I was somewhat distracted by a girl. It is true, i was distracted by the problems with our relationship, which by the way were largely my fault. She came and visited me in Vegas for my birthday which was the best thing I could have gotten. It started out great and we were having good times when things went bad. Too much alcohol and we were fighting (nothing violent). It got a little out of control (ok alot) and to make a long story short feelings were hurt and our relationship was severely damaged. And its really been bothering me because she is my best friend and has been for years now. But anyway, things are getting better with her and I hope it continues, she has been one of my biggest supporters when it comes to my poker career and I would hate to lose that. Poker is hard enough as it is (as I'm sure all serious players know) so the more support you have the better and the better your personal life, the better your poker life will be. So anyway I just want to verbalize to this girl in case she ever reads this that I am sorry and I appreciate all the support she has given me and I hope we can continue to be friends.

So I guess it's time to go back to the tables and try to grind out a living.....later.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

There is no God!

Without a doubt and undeniably there is no god....at least not a God of poker. Only a devil! If there was a god of pokerI would win and not be subject to such horrible runs. I am not one to bitch about bad beats, and i rearly remeber specific hands. I have played so many that very little phases me.

Although I think I must share one of my wost beat stories. These were not even bad beats ok they were, but still pretty unbelievable. Ok, so i play three seprate hands out of four at 10-20 limit. I get 88, AA, and AKs respectively. First hand 88, flop 877... i'm golden right... lose to quad sevens, another seven on the river. Very next hand deat AA....ok so I'll get some of my money back right? Flop is A Q 5. Looks good right.. turn a blank.. river a Q. Perfect Aces full, betting is capped and i wish it was no limit so I can bust this guy. Oops, he shows QQ...damn. Pretty unreal, next hand I fold but then I'm dealt AKs. So I'm thinking in my misery, maybe I get some money back here. Of course I raise, get two callers and flop comes all spades...which means I have the nut flush. Again, I'm golden right? Turn is a 2 and so is the river. I slow down a little on the river because the board is paired. Wouldn't you know guy shows 22. So in 3 out of 4 hands I get 2 full houses and one nut flush and lose each one to quads. Seriously has anybody seen quads 3 out of four hands? Well I have, and at least one of those hands if I was playing at the right place (Aces full) would have hit the badbeat jackpot.

But that is poker right? You play enough you see it all. Well please somebody tell me they have seen quads 3 out of 4 hands, and then tell me you had 2 full houses (nice full houses for that matter i.e. flopped top set) and a nut flush (on the flop) and lost each hand to quads. For all you conspiracy buffs and scobi.com enthuisists this happenned at paradise poker about 3 years ago. See, proof, internet poker is rigged right.

But anyway, see what I mean, there is no poker god only a devil. How else could this happen? And don't give me some bullshit answer about how if you put enough monkeys in a room sitting at typewriters over a long enough time one of them will type the complete works of Shaekspere. I play poker seriously and I graduated from college so I know about probability theory. It is still bullshit. Again there are no poker Gods... there are only devils!

This last session I didn't even lose that much. But I should have one alot.... I think I am just sick of the stress. Why can't it be easy for a change...it has been before! I consider myself a very good player and I have stats to back it up, but as I am sure all you guys know poker can be pretty brutal. It seems at this site I've been playing at for the last couple weeks (I prop there) it has been a little unfair. Ok alot unfair...these guys I'm playing against aren't even that good. I have enough experiance to know a good player when I see one, or at leat I hope so. And I guess that is why it is so frustrating. I'm sure others can relate, but sitting at a table for hours with not complete suckers but pretty much suckers only to drop 300, and to do this at three seprate tables you're playing at simultaneuosly. You know you are better than these guys, at least, in your own opinion right? (because we all think we are better than we actually are) I have to insert a quote here.

"poker is like sex... everyone thinks they are the best at it but most people don't have a clue" Dutch Boyd (at least its something like that)

But maybe I am getting outplayed. That is always a possibility and in some ways I'm beginning to think this is the case. Ok maybe not, but can it please be easy. Can I get good cards and can I make the right decisions, the right plays? Can my big hands hold up? Can I hit a damn draw and can somebody miss their draw against me. Does it always have to be a grind?

Anyway I will stop complaining because when it comes to poker I have been blessed. I am a consistent winner so I shouldn't complain (I usually don't). Besides I consider bankroll management the most important aspect of being a poker pro and therefore I have been able to outlast the downswings. Never overplay you bankroll this is the first commandment of professional poker. If you are bust you can't work so don't go bust.

I need a drink so I'll shut up. Besides, I know why its been rough lately. It's because of a girl but that is another post and like I said, I need a drink! Oooh addicition!

Monday, July 25, 2005

My First Post

Well, this whole blogging thing is very new to me so I guess we'll see how it goes and if I can actully right enough to fill some pages. I've been reading a few other blogs and decided why not give it a try myself. I figure at the very least this will be a place where I can explore my own thoughts and feelings, even if nobody else reads them, and this should hopefully benifit me in some way.

Fist off, I am a 27 year old internet poker pro. Ive been playing online for about six years (started at paradise, moved to party and currently play on about 3 other sites). I have been a pro now, which I consider to be anyone whose primary income comes from poker, for about 3-4 years. This means I have not had a real job in about 4 years. The primary focus of this blog is for me to give some insight into what I have experienced as a internet pro. Poker will be the focus but more so I will try to capture everything poker entails and how it intertwines with life. Or maybe I should say how lije intertwines with poker because essentially (good or bad) my life is poker. Over the days and weeks I plan to explore such things as love, addiction, isolation, frustration, self destruction, winning, losing, optimism, lonliness, and give some overall progress notes on my poker career. All this is coming after probably the worsdt two months of my life (not poker wise) so like I said if nothing else this will be an outlet for me to work through some things, do some self exploration, hopefully get a few readers, and chronicle my poker career.

So as they say lets "shuffle up and deal" and hopefully I will be dealt some good cards (for a change).

check out http://neverfoldit.com